MY nan has terminal cancer.. doctors won't do anything?

Question

Hello everyone, i am 15 years old and today i just found out that my nan is soon going to be dieing from cancer and tumors in her stomoche, kidneys and boawl. I Went to the hospital today to visit her and she was on methadone and i couldn't really talk to her as she was a bit out of it. I was crying for most of the time and the doctors say she will die soon and they wont do anything, and if her heart stops they won't ressusitate her... This annoys me because DO THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO THAT? i mean a dying person.... why wouldnt you save them, even if they may die soon

HELP ME

Answer 1

When a person is in an advanced stage of an incurable illness that is the final chapter. The doctors cannot "save" her because her body will soon be incapable of functioning, that's why the condition is called "terminal".



You are a young person, so you probably don't have any previous experience with this type of sad situation. There is nothing that can medically restore your relative, so that is why the decision has been made to let her die as peacefully as possible.



Subjecting your relative to electroshock and adrenaline injections during her last moments of life would be pointless, not change the final outcome, and only subject her to terror and pain. You don't want that, do you?

Answer 2

I know how exceptionally hard it is for you to hear that someone you obviously love so much is so terribly ill and I am very sorry about your grandmothers condition. Recently I've been working in Palliative Care which means caring for people with terminal illnesses and it never gets any easier watching what families have to go through.



The reason the doctors would have signed a DNAR (Do Not Attempt resuscitation) would be because there is no treatment that will make her cancer go away and if they were to bring her back after her heart stopped it would just prolong the suffering and delaying the inevitable.



Cancer is a horrible disease and when it is widespread within the body treatment is very difficult and can often reduce the quality of life. The aim of the doctors looking after you nana will be to make sure what life she does have left is the best that it can be. This is why they have been giving her painkillers and other medications so she is as comfortable as possible.



It's a big thing to get your head around at such a young age but there are lots of people out there who can support you. The doctors and nurses looking after your grandmother will be more than happy to explain what they're doing and will be able to talk with you about what happen. Your parents will also be good to talk to about how your feeling as they will know what is happening with your grandmother from talking with doctors.



I wish all the best to yourself and your family during this hard time and hope that the doctors are keeping her very comfortable.

Answer 3

Hey, Sam. I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. I watched my father die of cancer, and I know what you're going through in the initial stages. You feel helpless and full of emotions like anger and denial. Your reaction is typical.



Unfortunately, your Nan has what is known as metastatic cancer. It has spread to her other gastro-intestinal organs and likely distant sites, as well. Consequently, rather than torture her with an aggressive treatment that will not prevent the inevitable and only make her sicker, they have decided mutually to go after palliative treatment, in other words, they are treating the symptoms caused by the cancer's presence, essentially pain. What you described actually describes a cancer patient for whom chemo or radiation therapy might well be lethal.



Hang in there. Now do you see why the old timers used to say "Every day above ground is a good day?"

Answer 4

It might be hard to understand right now. But you Nan is in a lot of pain if she is on methadone. the pain will not go away. She has to many internal organs failing to live very long. Death is the only way she will stop hurting at this point. The DNR order is either signed by her, or the family not the doctors. It is not an easy choice to make. Oh trust me I do know...

Answer 5

You have my sympathy.I am so sorry.

Sometimes we have to deal with things that don't seem right to us but there is nothing we can do;your nan may be suffering and there is nothing the doctors can do to relieve her pain other that methadone.They are doing the best they can to keep her from suffering;if her heart stopped you said they would not resuscitate her;this could be her wishes which she made known to them before and it is in her file; or because of her pain and the fact that she is not going to recover the doctors might just let her go instead of have her lingering for god only knows how long in pain.(Would you want that?)



Because you know your nan is not going to get better and you only have her now for a short time you have the chance to say what you want to say to her;some people never get that chance.It will be hard for you to lose someone you love but even thought they will not be here physically you can hold them in your heart and they are never truly gone as long as you remember.

God Bless You!!

Answer 6

She is terminal. She is going to die. She may have signed a dnr, which stands for do not ressucitate. Its a legal paper that patients can sign stating that they do not want to be kept alive by heroic measures such as being shocked or life support. If that is the case, the doctors not only have the right to not, but are required by law not to.



Why wouldnt I save a dieing person??? *because* they are dieing. resusitation is a traumatic thing for anyone, and more so for someone so sick. But why prolong the suffering of your nan? Do you want her to continue to suffer? I understand you dont want your nan to die, but isnt it more important that she be comfortable, that the doctors follow her end of life instructions, and that she is no longer suffering?

Answer 7

They would attempt resuscitation unless your nan signed a DNR order (do not resuscitate). So if they said they won't, then she must have signed it. If she has this much cancer, she probably feels that it is too much to try to fight. And if it has spread this much, there isn't anything they can really do about it as far as treatment.



PS - Would you want to keep on living if you had a gut full of cancer and the only thing keeping you from screaming was to be heavily medicated? What kind of life is that? Your nan will move on out of her pain to a better place and will be just fine. If they kept her hooked up to machines and tried to cut all her organs out.. she would just suffer longer.

Answer 8

in september 28 2009 will be a year i lost my mom to the same thing it is very hard to watch that happen,the reason they wont is cause your nan signed a paper that states not to try to bring her back , my mom signed the same paper but because my mom was really skinny from 220 pounds to 97 pounds and if they try to bring her back they could break her ribs and that's very painful... i am sorry to hear whats going on but what i can tell you is to spend every time you got with your nan i was working and i would go see my mom after work and now i wish i would have spent all my time there, take plenty of pictures and make videos of your nan saying she loves you give that person lots of kisses and let your nan know you love them

Answer 9

they're not doing anything, because it'd cause her more pain and stress to go through all the treatment.. it'd have a really low success chance, and it'd make her last time on earth horrible and even more agony filled. you want what's right for your nan, right? i'm sure she's had a long, full life.. she doesn't need a few extra months on earth just to be put through hell and back. it's better for her to die soon and go with least pain and trauma as possible, right? and you should want what's best for her. :/ I'm sorry for this happening to her and to you..

Answer 10

on the grounds that they have been denied treatment, and presented the DA suicide particularly, i won't be able to truly trust this. i could say that if the affected person chosen the DA suicide after being presented treatment to postpone what could particularly be an exceedingly painful and short existence, then that is a decision that could desire to possibly be presented to them as to not postpone suffering. whether, the affected person replaced into denied treatment then presented DA suicide. i could say that this feels like coercion. This guy or woman replaced into uninsured. the undeniable fact that Oregon won't pay for the treatment if there is decrease than a 5% hazard of this guy or woman residing extra suitable than 5 years i think of is particularly incorrect. How can they place a value on prolonging this guy or woman's existence for even one three hundred and sixty 5 days? it would desire to be rather worthwhile to this guy or woman. the undeniable fact that they could replace a tenet of DA suicide in selection to treatment which the guy won't be able to have the money for and that they gained't pay for is sufficient to recommend coercion. that is reminiscent of asking an inmate to take part in experimental procedures (that is a classic occasion of unethical habit). The inmate will think of that their sentence would be lessened in the event that they participate interior the test. consequently, their selection isn't completely in line with their unfastened will. i've got faith this might properly be a similar case. The affected person desires lots to end their suffering, so they are prepared to purpose besides the fact that is mandatory to cease their suffering. those are those that is prepared to combat for their lives in the event that they are given the potential to. If the potential are taken away and their 2 ideas are decreased to: "go through" or "die", without hazard to purpose rehabilitation, the organic inclination for a number of them would be death, while they could have chosen to have treatment if it have been attainable. removing the capacity of those human beings to combat for their lives and changing it with an hazard for them to die particularly is unacceptable. they are being coerced into this selection. Coercing uninsured sufferers into DA suicide is particularly unethical.

Answer 11

Yea i understand u. Some Doctors r just plain assholes. All they care about is their paycheck.